In early August, I spent a week away from work (mostly) – a
“staycation,” in town. Grandchildren from east and west coasts traveled here to
join their cousins who live in Minnesota. So, I engaged in a week of grandchild-oriented
activities and behaved very grand-parentally.
Nevertheless, beachwear, a concert audience of fanatical youngsters,
and high noise levels in many venues set me to thinking about social phenomena.
First, some highlights – especially from the grandchildren’s
perspective:
- Saint Paul’s Como Pool, where they spent about 6 hours one day, 4 hours on another. This newly renovated swimming complex has an extremely friendly design for young people ages 1 through 9. They considered it aqua-heaven.
- Science Museum of Minnesota, including the Omnitheater show, “Journey to the South Pacific.” This venue very well serves a grandparent seeking a source of education and entertainment for young ones with varied interests and at varied developmental stages.
- An Okee Dokee Brothers concert, free in the Walker Sculpture Garden. This was the second time that I experienced the Brothers (plus a couple of Sisters) live in concert. However, I don’t think that qualifies me as a groupie, since I did not venture into the mosh pit.
- As a prelude to the concert, I shepherded, by myself, three grandchildren (ages 1, 5, and 9) on a journey on the A Line, the Green Line, and the number 6 bus to reach the Walker. That commute, in and of itself, provided another highlight for the young ones.
Observations made during these experiences led to three
tentative propositions which we could subject to further research.
Tattoos manifest
themselves more readily at the swimming pool than in the workplace.
The pool users did not represent a random sample of the
population, but my observational survey led me to wonder: How many people have
tattoos?
One study, more than 10 years old, reported by the American
Academy of Dermatology, estimated that about one-fourth of men and women 18 to
50 years old, have tattoos. A Harris poll in 2015 estimated that almost 3 of 10
adults have tattoos. Harris data suggested some generational differences (e.g.,
47% of Millennials vs. only 13% of Boomers).
A Pew Research study in 2010 found that about three-fourths
of the people with tattoos say that those tattoos are usually hidden from view
– evidence that supports my proposition.
I also wondered if people ever regret their permanent bodily
inscription(s). Harris discovered that 23 percent of the tattooed have regrets
at least sometimes. Among the most common reasons for wishing that they did not
have their current tattoo: their personality had changed and/or their partner
had changed. (I suppose that an intended pleasant day at the beach with Steve
has a different tone when body parts not covered by one’s bathing suit
prominently reveal an allegiance to George.)
As an aside, one young woman’s tattoo read: “Je vois la vie
en rose.” I told her that those words set Edith Piaf songs going through my
head. She said, yes, it does have that effect on some people.
Separating signal
from noise becomes more difficult in the presence of 300 or more children under
age 12.
The utterance, “Grandpa,” occurred many times per hour at
the pool, where moms and grandparents constituted most of the adults in
attendance. (What to conclude about the lesser-than-might-be-anticipated number
of dads, could serve as another research topic, I suppose.)
More often than not, the adults seemed attuned to their own
children. I wondered: Do parents and grandparents recognize their own
children’s calls and cries, amidst the calling, crying, and other noisemaking
of a large number of other children?
Based on a quick scan of the all-knowing web, it appears
that, at least since the 1980s, psychobiological research has demonstrated that
parents do recognize their own children’s cries. Decades ago, the data seemed
to suggest that mothers, more often than fathers, recognized the sound of their
own children – reflecting, in some people’s minds, “maternal instinct.” Recent
research, though, indicates that fathers have begun to catch up, perhaps
because more fathers now share childrearing duties and more intensively
interact with their children, right from infancy. I think that this topic
requires more solid research before I would draw any conclusions.
Children, finding
themselves in a new space with other children they don’t know, manifest social
norms of behavior, without adult intervention.
Whether dancing in the Okee Dokee mosh pit, cavorting in one
of the water-fun areas, or exploring an exhibit at the Science Museum, most
young children seem to know how to behave. They respected each other’s space,
helped and guided one another (especially if older), and acted in a friendly
manner. Sure, the occasional young scamp required a warning from a parent or a
lifeguard, for example. However, by and large, social processes – and tons of
fun – occurred very smoothly.
So, I wondered: Do children have an innate sense of how to
behave in social situations? Do they learn rules at home or at school, which
they apply to new situations? Do they model parental behavior? Child
developmental psychologists might readily know the answers; the questions,
though, challenged me.
Four years ago, in a Scientific American article, a Yale
University Psychology professor asserted that people do not learn morality;
they possess it at birth. The evidence points, he concluded, to the fact that
morality has a human genetic component, with the result that infants have
empathy, compassion, and a beginning sense of fairness, from day 1.
So, perhaps that innate sense translates into good behavior
in social groups? Maybe what happens in families and schools does not so much “teach”
norms of social behavior as it does offer tools to children to implement what
they already “know”?
In Conclusion
Just a little bit of internet research can take great
strides toward responding to substantial questions which, if one does not protect
oneself from weighty thoughts, can emerge from observations of adults and
children in pools, concerts, museums, public transportation, and other places.
